Transcribed by Nicola
footnote descriptions by Dan Koster
Chorus:
One, two, turtles are blue,1
three, four, Police are a bore,
five, six, Trudi upped sticks,2
seven, eight, you got no mates!
Brimstone, treacle and you,3
Break a leg, boy on the moon,4
no more Tyneside's favourite son,5
Jimmy Nail is number one.6
REPEAT CHORUS
Reading books by Nabokov,7
schoolkids told you, "Bugger off!"8
So you sung about dread and fear,9
you're a legal alien, dear.10
REPEAT CHORUS
While you were out, saving trees,
your accountant doubled his fees.
Five million down the drain;
poor old teacher's got no brain.
REPEAT CHORUS
So many crimes committed to wax,11
Andy's hanging up his axe,12
Copeland went on to equalise.13
Sting's a bell boy in disguise.14
REPEAT CHORUS
You got no mates!
You got no mates!
You got no mates, got no mates!
1 : The Dream Of The Blue Turtles (Sting's first solo album)
2 : Trudi Styler (Sting's wife)
3 : Brimstone and Treacle (movie in which Sting plays a demonic stranger)
4 : Walking On The Moon (Police #1 hit)
5 : Tyneside (Sting's birthplace)
6 : Performed live with Sting on a "save the rainforests" compilation (produced by Trudi, 1998). May also be from Tyneside
7 : Nabokov's Lolita was the basis for the Police hit Don't Stand So Close To Me
8 : Sting was a schoolteacher before joining The Police
9 : Dread and fear figure heavily in Police songs, particularly on the Carl Jung-inspired Synchronicity album
10 : "I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien" runs the chorus of "An Englishman In New York" (which Sting wrote about Quentin Crisp, though here the Et are turning it against Sting himself)
11 : So many crimes committed to wax (i.e. all the Police and solo albums)
12 : Andy (Summers) is hanging up his axe? Retiring? I thought he may still be churning out shitty new age crap for Private Music
13 : (Stewart) Copeland went on to write the "hit" theme music for The Equalizer (80's Edward Woodward TV drama series) among other soundtracks
14 : In the film, Quadrophenia, Sting played Ace Face, the "mod" whom everybody worships as the coolest, but whose secret shame is that his "day job" is as a bellboy for a cheesy coastal resort.
Credits
- Composition:
-
- Vocals:
-
References
The band describe this as a, er, "tribute" to Sting. Get back in the
knife-drawer!
Versions and sources
- Message In A Bottle
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